I say Kawap..... you say Kawap....... everybody eats Kawap.

I was so blessed to get to know my Uyghur friends while staying in Karlsruhe. Rod King was able to help them alot, and i felt blessed to be able to reap the benefits of that relationship and to help in any way that i could. there were so many good times had, visiting, helping with moving, picnics and of course, grilling.

grilling must be a national specialty. the guys built there own special grill and would look for any occasion to get it out and make Kawap. Yummy, Yummy lamb meat..... mmmmm....... and lots of it.

it was such an awesome addition to my last week in Germany to be able to see anwar's new garden, plus to relax, and eat Kawap again before i left germany. Kawap is a Uyghur specialty food. Lamb meat marinated in different spices and grilled on a specially made grill. it's just super yummy.



Gulnar explained to me that there isn't a proper representation of true Kawap on the internet and that there should be pictures and videos of Kawap being made and eaten. so i took up the challenge of putting a couple videos online, plus some pictures of Gulnar eating Kawap while wearing a traditional Uyghur dress.





So this post is for Gulnar and all the Uyghurs out there. and cause it's just really yummy.

alot of laying around....

so it's wednesday and i've been back here in the states for almost 3 days nows. time is flying by, but i must say that i've been spending a good deal of it sleeping. i started feeling sick a week ago, or knew that it was coming. i would have normally taken it easy to try to keep from being sick. that wasn't going to happen though with only a couple days left in germany to see friends, say goodbyes, party, pack and paint. so i decided to push through and deal with the sickness later.

it's caught up to me and i've been sleeping and resting alot. feel pretty wiped out. my throat still hurts a bit, but i think i'm slowly getting over this. just taking it easy and drinking lots of fluids. i don't know if it was all the running around that got me sick or if it was more of the emotional stress of saying goodbye.

my last week in germany was busy, emotional, stressful and beautiful all at once. saying goodbye to so many people that mean so much to me was really hard, yet it's always a blessing to be told how much you are loved and how much you will be missed.
it's definately the hardest time that i've ever had leaving. there were so many moments that were wonderful summaries of my time in germany. i just feel like i couldn't have had a better last week than i did. there were so many things to do, but so many glimpses into my past years in germany. I felt like i was re-living it all over again and getting to say goodbye to all those little parts of "my germany."

and all that ending with Das Fest.... how wildly ironic... i final goodbye.

now i'm sitting in the aircondition across the ocean, wondering where it goes from here. first..... back to being healthy..... then who knows what. that's how i'm feeling right now..... lots of these dots to show that things continue somehow..... though i'm not sure where to or how.

i'll keep you posted..... or say hi in person if it's been that long.

Aint no hole in my bucket.......

well my flickr account proved to be a dissapointment. i mean..... the free account. i found out too late that i could only put 200 pictures on there.

So i've added a Photobucket account to my list of internet sites. True, there were some cooler things at flickr, but i can upload more pictures now, so it's all good. I even put a link on here, isn't that great!!!

Boyz 2 Men were so right......

Somehow that song "It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday" keeps running through my mind. i sang it during my whole bike ride to work today. it feels odd to be singing it, as if it cheapens this whole thing.

I'm definately in the hurting/dealing stage of this whole leaving thing. I've never been much of a goodbye person. i usually just smile and nod and kinda move on. This is definately my hardest time leaving, ever. Karlsruhe has become my home over the 3 years that i was here. Now i'm tearing myself away from all this and throwing myself back into the uncertainty of the "normal world." wait a minute. i didn't mean north america by that. i meant work and starting over in pretty much every aspect.

I've let myself experience life here and poured myself into friendships and the church. it definately makes me feel stupid for leaving....... don't ask me why i can't stay. i'm getting sick of answering or thinking of an answer. it was much easier to answer that question a year ago when i wasn't doing this goodbye thing and running through the lists of things that i'm leaving here.

keep your head up, kid. i'll be ok. don't worry. if it turns out that i'm not ok, then i'm to blame. doesn't that make things easier?

I have been blessed. I can't describe how much "thomashof" means to me. i've told a couple people, but i've been sitting in church the last year and often thinking about what it was going to be like when i would say goodbye to the church. each time i would almost start to cry. somehow i ended up not standing behind the pulpit, like i had pictured it so often. I didn't say the words i wanted to say, though i'm sure i wouldn't have been able to say much at all. I couldn't even finish singing the songs while playing guitar.

i'm rambling. this whole thing is hard. friday was lovely, sunday was a rollercoaster ride with tears. i'm not even gonna guess what Das Fest is going to be like. One thing is for sure though. A stogie will be smoked and tears will flow.

The Picture Taker.

Been keeping busy lately. Along with this blogging thing, i've been travelling, camping and watching soccer...... all the while taking pictures and putting them in the internet.

In case i haven't mentioned it, i have a Flickr account, where i've been putting some of my pictures. The flickr thing is ok, but there are things about it that annoy me. not that important......

He's a brief recap of the last week or so......

I went away for a weekend with my church's "young adult" group, called JUKAMEN. we camped in christine's parents'
I've bebackyard, just hanging out, picking cherries, relaxing, going swimming, and for myself and 2 others, sleeping under the stars. it had been so long since i got away and slept under the stars. just amazing.





Then this wednesday morning i started helping the Ungers pack their things into a couple vehicles and head to Regensburg, where they'll start pastoring in September. They're house is great and i'm so happy that i was able to go along to help move and set things up. Jens and i definately enjoyed the 3 day trip to bavaria. It also ended up being a great chance to see Michael and Susanne before i leave.... good times partying and eating weisswurst.



I was lucky enough to have people along to eat my salad for me.

The world cup final came up on me way too fast. I'd be looking forward to the whole thing for so long and then it was gone in the blink of an eye and many many hours in front of a TV. i watched in final in front of the schloss in karlsruhe. good times, though i still can't believe italy won....... or that zidane went out like he did.






There will definately be more to come.........

Today is what?

The world cup semifinal game? oh..... Independence Day. Right.....

So i completely forgot that today is the 4th of July. I've seriously been so wrapped up in hoping that Italy loses to Germany that it just didn't register. I must also confess that i haven't been thinking about it for weeks. It dawned on me today. Go figure. It's not like i have people over here reminding me. The world cup just seems more important at the moment. So sue me.

I've decided that if Germany wins tonight, then i'll celebrate the win and July 4th together. I've got fireworks hidden in my dresser. But IF italy should win, then i am in no way going to celebrate anything. i'll postpone it for a few days or something.

That aside, i searched the internet for a taste of US nationalism to get me in the right mood. I'm missing the fireworks at Longs Park in Lancaster, so i've gotta have some type of replacement. Those who know me, know that i'm not that patriotic anyway...... I love my country, but often don't like what's done in my name. Seeing how nationalism and patriotism are often used as means to a certain end..... they worry me a bit.

So I celebrate our independence day half-heartedly. Appreciating the freedoms that I was born with, the privileges that were handed to me and that blue passport that my refugee friends eye with envy, a ticket to a life without the worries they've had. I just get worried when I see how extreme we get in our patriotism. I guess I'm glad i'm not in the states right now. I think it would be too much for me to have all that nationalism at one time. It's enough to see the Germans start to show excessive amounts of nationalism during the world cup.

This all makes me thankful for the mennonite ideals that I have. An ability to question the actions of my government, knowing that my highest allegiance is not to them. Maybe i'm overly cautious, but patriotism has been abused and misused so often.

Soooooo........... Happy 4th of July!!! Let us enjoy our freedom, just not forget what has been done to make it possible. Good and Bad.

"Those of us who shout the loudest about Americanism are all too frequently those who . . . ignore some of the basic principles of Americanism — the right to criticize, the right to hold unpopular beliefs, the right to protest, the right of independent thought." - former Senator Margaret Chase Smith

To lighten things up, here's a little quiz to see if you're able to properly celebrate the 4th.

I guess that's what i wanted to say.

Pray for Junior.

Junior is a good friend a mine. He's a refugee from cameroon that's been in karlsruhe for a while. he's a good contact of mine at the camp, is always ready to help others out, play soccer, or just talk about important stuff. we've had some good discussions about racism and history.

Junior told me on friday that he will be having surgery tommorrow, Monday, July 3rd. His eyesight has been getting worse lately, so he went to a doctor to get it checked out. It turns out that he has a tumor in his head, which is pushing against his eyes. I don't know specifics, but he'll be in surgery tommorrow.

I'm going to try to get there tommorrow before surgery or to be with him. Please pray for him if you have a chance.

Update*** Monday, July 3rd -

I went to the eye clinic this morning and found junior at the end of his first round of tests. It turns out that they just did tests today. He'll be going back tommorrow for an x-ray and will then meet with the neurologist. right now it's really not clear if he'll actually have to have an operation. The nurses couldn't give me any real answers today. It all depends on what the neurologist says. He's doing well, but is still stressed out and scared of the operation. I'll keep you posted.

Italian gambling....acting... soccer.

I love the world cup and soccer in general, but the italians are trying to ruin that. just when it looks like some cinderella teams that are playing good soccer are going to make it further into the tournament, the italians go and ruin the game and the "purity" of soccer by throwing themselves on the ground to get a foul and a penalty shot to win against australia. what a sucky end to a game and the chances of australia coming further.

And this after all the crap that's been going on in the italian soccer league.

I know. i'm just annoyed because i think italy plays dirty. don't get me wrong, they have great players, but they play dirty, dive and just don't deserve to win games like the one they stole from australia.

the fury continues.

Back in time. in Berlin.

I had a great time in Berlin. My 4 days there flew by, but i got to see lots of the city and just enjoy being there without the stress of having a schedule.

Everything worked out so that i could just take off sunday night and come back thursday. Markus had called his friends sunday and they said i could crash there. they had an empty room because their new roommate hadn't moved in yet. so i thought i'd just jump on an over-night train, but they were full, so i sat in trainstation for a couple hours and then had to change trains.

I got to berlin at around 9 in the morning on monday and just started walking around the city to see sites and whatnot. Saw the Siegersäule, Reichstag, Brandenburger Tor, the Fan Fast Berlin and some other stuff. i ended up not buying a tram ticket, but just walking around till my feet hurt.

I spent the next days just relaxing, watching soccer on the fan mile, taking it easy and enjoying my first time in the capital. i also saw the (berliner dom, fernseher turm, museum island and the marx-engels park thing.

Oh yeah. It just so happened that there was a "night of music" in the city wednesday night. Bands were playing on the street and in all different parks. It was just a great atmosphere and a nice little surprise on my last night in the city.

Here are a couple pictures. You can see the rest on my Flickr account. Unfortunately, flickr doesn't let you put the pictures in the right order. either way. enjoy.

Berlin, Berlin, Ich fahre nach Berlin!!!!

Hi kids.
I've been in germany for, lets just say 3 and a half years, and i haven't been to the capital. I've been debating when i'll be able to go and waiting and waiting, and i finally decided that i'm going tonight. i'll take this week off, get back thursday night maybe. yeah.

markus called a friend today and i can crash at their place. so it looks like i'll take a night train and get there tommorrow morning, hit the city and whatnot. i'm thinking i'll come back thursday night or so. we'll see.

another great thing is that germany plays against ecuador in berlin on tuesday, so it'll be great times in the city. i'll take lots of pictures and post them later.

Too much?

The world cup started 4 days ago and there have been 11 games so far. I'm happy to say that I've been able to watch each game up until now. there have been some good games, but just as much of me sitting around on my ass in front of a TV. if i actually watch all 48 first round games, that will be at least 72 hours in front of the tube.

Don't get me wrong, i'm loving it. but such a level of dedication calls for a certain amount of reflection. When was the last time i sat on my ass to read my Bible for an hour and a half? let alone 4 and a half hours a day, like it is with the world cup now.

I'll continue watching, but i think i'll be planning worthwhile activities during the break between games or when i'm not watching. frisbee, Bible reading, cleaning the bathroom, etc......... anyone have any other ideas?

I Wish I Were Jared..........

I've got a sweet name. Let's just get that straight. I just never knew so much about myself before. But this week I took to the internet to learn more about this wonderful thing called Jared.
Other people were also asking who the heck I am and I learned that I can be downloaded.

Being a volunteer and not having a real job, i never thought that i'd do this or be able to buy jewelry.

I just didn't know that my story was so sad..............

Jared does dinner.

So i'm sure you've all been wondering what i eat on a regular basis. my roommates quickly recognize the wonderful aroma of onions frying in a pan, and know that i'm making "gebratene Maultaschen."

ah yes........ maultaschen. a swäbisch specialty. here i need to mention that maultaschen are usually eaten in a broth, like soup. then leftovers are fried, which i prefer to do. cause i can add onions. and onions are yummy.

i cut my maultaschen up, so they fry better and are distributed throughout my onions.
a basic description of this process would be:
1. cut up maultaschen
2. cut up onions
3. put oil in a hot pan
4. fry onions and maultaschen
5. chop up garlic
6. add garlic to onions and maultaschen
7. continue frying
8. put yummy meal on plate
9. open beer and place next to yummy meal on plate
10. enjoy.

and pretty pictures...........

Bustin it out.....

Cause it's just that time of year.

Today was the first day of spring, or summer for that matter, in my book. It was a long winter, but the flowers on Hengst platz are blooming, i've got shorts on and......................
today i made spring official by biking to and from work.

Pack away your sweaters folks, it's time for sweaty t-shirts and having the wind blow through your hair as you cruise through the city. I'm excited about summer, if for no other reason than flying around the city on my bike. Thanks Wilhelm!!!!!!!!

If you hear a green aligator squeeking behind you, then get out of the way!!!

Sing along.

i was stumbling through the internet when i came across a huge posting of vidoes of sesame street songs at Foldedspace.org. i didn't spend lots of my childhood watching, but still have good memories and enjoy the creative stuff they do.
i know most americans will know these, but the germans had their own. hope you guys like these.
Here are a few that i especially like.

"one two three FOUR five, six seven eight NINE ten, eleven twelve"
Telephone rock
Mahna Mahna
King Minus
the subway
The rhyming song
Robert DeNiro imagines he's Elmo
The Martians meet a telephone
I Love Trash : Oscar
C is for Cookie! : Cookie Monster
It's Not Easy Being Green : Kermit the Frog
A-B-C-D-E-F-Cookie Monster
Don't Take Your Ones to Town" :Johnny Cash and Big Bird
The Alphabet Song" : Ray Charles
"Don't Know Y" : Norah Jones and Elmo

Hair Loss.

So it started because i was just lazy and didn't want to shave, then i thought it would be fun to just let my beard grow again and see what happens. It didn't look good, but it was fun for a while. I decided that i'd let it grow until my ski vacation, then slowly experiment. please feel free to comment or give ratings on the different styles.

Here' the full beard view which, granted, was a bit out of control.















Then I shaved the chin out. yeah. I look alot better in other pictures, but there aren't any.














Proceeding onward, i removed the nasty stache and ended up with the mutton chops. I have honestly say that i like this the most.

This is the final result. well, as of now. the normal pointy sideburns. I'd debating going back to the chops though. let me know what you think.

Up yonder with the master.

I called yesterday at around 10 AM to talk to my grandpa. i had planned to call at 11 so my mom could be in his room to pick up the phone. i forgot that we've already turned out clocks forward, but that hasn't been done in the states yet. my grandma was luckily there to pick up the phone and give it to my grandpa. we talked for a few minutes, mostly in german. he then said he was tired and wanted to go.

i went to play basketball for a couple hours and when i got back there was a message on the answering machine from my dad saying that grandpa had died at around noon their time. i called him and asked about details. here's an email he sent to the church, saying basically what he told me:

"Janet called at noon today to tell me that her father, Homer Luckenbill, Jr., had just died and went home to heaven. Praise God! He went peacefully.Homer was in his wheelchair outside the beautician's, who was going to givehim a haircut. Janet and her mother, Jean, were there also. Homer gave abit of a gasp and rolled his eyes (the aneurism apparently had ruptured).Janet wheeled him back to his room. They put him in bed. He was able totalk with Janet and her mother. They called Janet's sister, Nancy, in TN,and she was able to talk briefly with Homer. Nancy said, "Daddy, go to bewith Jesus." Within a few minutes he blinked his eyes, shut them, and wentto be with Jesus forever. About an hour before his death our son, Jared,called from Germany and got to speak with Homer. Jared had sent a CD thathe made for Homer, singing the song "In the Garden" for his grandfather.Homer was listening to Jared sing in the background when he died. God is good!"

Here's an excerpt from the last email that i got from my grandpa about a month ago:

"By grace we are saved, by grace we receive daily love and blessings, by grace we have friends and loved ones,by grace (a gift from God) we have so much!God so loved the world!

He loved, and loves us- and still does, but it has been as a result of His GRACE that we are saved!

I love you very much, but my love cannot save you! Only the GRACE of God can accomplish that.

What a wonderful blessing!! Grace!!!

I have not been too well lately, but by the love and Grace of God one day my soul will depart my body to be with my Lord!, where I shall see those who too have been saved by Grace!"

I feel so blessed to have been able to talk to my grandpa several times in the last week of his life. To have that connection to be able to talk to him in german. I was dealing with the whole thing of being able to be there with him and to hold his hand. I had decided to stay here, instead of returning for a few days. I just didn't want to regret not being there when i had the chance.
It was also so meaningful to be able to sing for grandpa and to at least "be there" in that way. I know it meant something to him, but for me it was one of the only ways to be there to comfort him or be present in his last days. How awesome that I had almost a week to prepare for his death and to say my goodbye.

I praise God that he died in peace with his family around him. He had fought to stay alive until there was nothing more that he could do. He was ready to go home to his father and had several days to spend with family and friends before doing that. What a wonderful, caring, loving, thoughtful grandfather that continually lived out his faith and gave all the glory to God. I can't wait to see him again.

Here's the text of my grandpa's favorite song that i recorded and sent to him.

I come to the garden alone
While the dew is still on the roses
And the voice I hear falling on my ear
The Son of God discloses.

Refrain:
And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own;
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.

He speaks, and the sound of His voice,
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,
And the melody that He gave to me
Within my heart is ringing.

Refrain

I’d stay in the garden with Him
Though the night around me is falling,
But He bids me go; through the voice of woe
His voice to me is calling.

Refrain

Homer Francis Luckenbill Jr.

I've been crying alot the last 10 hours. I came home from church and read an email from my brother about how my grandpa is doing. He's in the hospital and they've decided that the numerous problems that he has can't be operated on. Tommorrow afternoon at 3pm they'll be putting a valve to drain the buildup in his stomach that's been blocked from entering his intestines.
So he'll be able to drink liquids if he wants, but will be getting no nutrients. That means he'll start to fade.
I'm dealing with it. I've known that his health hasn't been good, but i somehow expected that he'd be around when i get back in july. Now i'm sure he won't be. It's been a year since i've seen him.
I talked to my parents and then called his hospital room. My bro Tom has been holdin down the fort in the hospital for us brothers. Many thanks to him for that. He was there and i was able to talk to grandpa. just a couple sentences. it hurts for him to talk.
i had a nice time talking to tom and then my grandma and uncle keith came, so i got to talk to them.
then with grandpa once again. i just wanted to get to tell him again that i love him and miss him.
he loves speaking his PA dutch. he said:

"ich lieb dich" (i love you)
"wir werden uns wieder sehen" (we'll see eachother again)

then he sang

"oh wie lieblich, wie lieblich, wie lieblich ist Jesus..
er ist mein erlöser.........."

and i finished with
".......mein herr und mein freund."

(oh how lovely, how lovely,lovely is Jesus.
He is my redeemer, my lord and my friend)

Now it's a matter of time.

Giving to annoying people.

Refugees don't have money. They come and ask for stuff.

We don't really have money.

We usually can't give much, but try to do what we can. I have a problem turning people down. Especially nice people that seriously need help and are so thankful for everything.

A person that i've known for a while and who has received help from me and our church for a while stopped by for a favor. He's not thankful. He expects you to help him and look after his every need. He was stopping by because i said i would do him a favor. So he comes in and after a couple seconds looks at me smiling says "So. What do you have for me? I'm going grocery shopping and need money."
Ahhhhhhhhhh Man!!!!!!!!! I don't have much to give the poeple that need help and are thankful for what they get. Then this punk comes and considers it his right to get handouts when he is in this situation because of a decision that he consciously made and continues to make.
No way was I rolling over and lining his pocket. I gave his the pretzels that had been laying around for 2 months and that was it.
I justify my actions. I'm called to show him love as a christian and to help him, but not to roll over and become a victim. But then I think again on Jesus' words, calling us to give to others when they ask. I want to be right in my decision, it still makes me wonder sometimes if I just want to make that decision and rationalise my way through. Anyone have this same problem?

So it makes me wonder if I'm truly carrying out Jesus' call to serve and love others. Did Jesus really mean that I should give something to this jerk? Am I really serving him by catering to someones requests?

Standing up...... like I should.

So some americans might know that it's expected that everyone(guys included) sit down to take a leak when here in Germany, or Europe in general. There are often little signgs that say "urinate sitting down" or something like that. I don't like it, though i respect the rules when visiting others.
I remember in highschool when we Happy Campers were talking about building a cabin and that it definately had to have urinal in the place. Just a guy kinda thing.
Then during a trip to Hamburg we stayed with family of a friend and i saw this in the bathroom. They had a urinal!!!!!! I mean. I don't think i'd even seen one in a private home. we're talking about a little bathroom, but they had it there. oh......... and a heated floor. yeah. it was deluxe.
So of course i had to get my camera and take pictures of this monumental event. Just thought i'd pass on the joy.