Aint no hole in my bucket.......

well my flickr account proved to be a dissapointment. i mean..... the free account. i found out too late that i could only put 200 pictures on there.

So i've added a Photobucket account to my list of internet sites. True, there were some cooler things at flickr, but i can upload more pictures now, so it's all good. I even put a link on here, isn't that great!!!

Boyz 2 Men were so right......

Somehow that song "It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday" keeps running through my mind. i sang it during my whole bike ride to work today. it feels odd to be singing it, as if it cheapens this whole thing.

I'm definately in the hurting/dealing stage of this whole leaving thing. I've never been much of a goodbye person. i usually just smile and nod and kinda move on. This is definately my hardest time leaving, ever. Karlsruhe has become my home over the 3 years that i was here. Now i'm tearing myself away from all this and throwing myself back into the uncertainty of the "normal world." wait a minute. i didn't mean north america by that. i meant work and starting over in pretty much every aspect.

I've let myself experience life here and poured myself into friendships and the church. it definately makes me feel stupid for leaving....... don't ask me why i can't stay. i'm getting sick of answering or thinking of an answer. it was much easier to answer that question a year ago when i wasn't doing this goodbye thing and running through the lists of things that i'm leaving here.

keep your head up, kid. i'll be ok. don't worry. if it turns out that i'm not ok, then i'm to blame. doesn't that make things easier?

I have been blessed. I can't describe how much "thomashof" means to me. i've told a couple people, but i've been sitting in church the last year and often thinking about what it was going to be like when i would say goodbye to the church. each time i would almost start to cry. somehow i ended up not standing behind the pulpit, like i had pictured it so often. I didn't say the words i wanted to say, though i'm sure i wouldn't have been able to say much at all. I couldn't even finish singing the songs while playing guitar.

i'm rambling. this whole thing is hard. friday was lovely, sunday was a rollercoaster ride with tears. i'm not even gonna guess what Das Fest is going to be like. One thing is for sure though. A stogie will be smoked and tears will flow.

The Picture Taker.

Been keeping busy lately. Along with this blogging thing, i've been travelling, camping and watching soccer...... all the while taking pictures and putting them in the internet.

In case i haven't mentioned it, i have a Flickr account, where i've been putting some of my pictures. The flickr thing is ok, but there are things about it that annoy me. not that important......

He's a brief recap of the last week or so......

I went away for a weekend with my church's "young adult" group, called JUKAMEN. we camped in christine's parents'
I've bebackyard, just hanging out, picking cherries, relaxing, going swimming, and for myself and 2 others, sleeping under the stars. it had been so long since i got away and slept under the stars. just amazing.





Then this wednesday morning i started helping the Ungers pack their things into a couple vehicles and head to Regensburg, where they'll start pastoring in September. They're house is great and i'm so happy that i was able to go along to help move and set things up. Jens and i definately enjoyed the 3 day trip to bavaria. It also ended up being a great chance to see Michael and Susanne before i leave.... good times partying and eating weisswurst.



I was lucky enough to have people along to eat my salad for me.

The world cup final came up on me way too fast. I'd be looking forward to the whole thing for so long and then it was gone in the blink of an eye and many many hours in front of a TV. i watched in final in front of the schloss in karlsruhe. good times, though i still can't believe italy won....... or that zidane went out like he did.






There will definately be more to come.........

Today is what?

The world cup semifinal game? oh..... Independence Day. Right.....

So i completely forgot that today is the 4th of July. I've seriously been so wrapped up in hoping that Italy loses to Germany that it just didn't register. I must also confess that i haven't been thinking about it for weeks. It dawned on me today. Go figure. It's not like i have people over here reminding me. The world cup just seems more important at the moment. So sue me.

I've decided that if Germany wins tonight, then i'll celebrate the win and July 4th together. I've got fireworks hidden in my dresser. But IF italy should win, then i am in no way going to celebrate anything. i'll postpone it for a few days or something.

That aside, i searched the internet for a taste of US nationalism to get me in the right mood. I'm missing the fireworks at Longs Park in Lancaster, so i've gotta have some type of replacement. Those who know me, know that i'm not that patriotic anyway...... I love my country, but often don't like what's done in my name. Seeing how nationalism and patriotism are often used as means to a certain end..... they worry me a bit.

So I celebrate our independence day half-heartedly. Appreciating the freedoms that I was born with, the privileges that were handed to me and that blue passport that my refugee friends eye with envy, a ticket to a life without the worries they've had. I just get worried when I see how extreme we get in our patriotism. I guess I'm glad i'm not in the states right now. I think it would be too much for me to have all that nationalism at one time. It's enough to see the Germans start to show excessive amounts of nationalism during the world cup.

This all makes me thankful for the mennonite ideals that I have. An ability to question the actions of my government, knowing that my highest allegiance is not to them. Maybe i'm overly cautious, but patriotism has been abused and misused so often.

Soooooo........... Happy 4th of July!!! Let us enjoy our freedom, just not forget what has been done to make it possible. Good and Bad.

"Those of us who shout the loudest about Americanism are all too frequently those who . . . ignore some of the basic principles of Americanism — the right to criticize, the right to hold unpopular beliefs, the right to protest, the right of independent thought." - former Senator Margaret Chase Smith

To lighten things up, here's a little quiz to see if you're able to properly celebrate the 4th.

I guess that's what i wanted to say.

Pray for Junior.

Junior is a good friend a mine. He's a refugee from cameroon that's been in karlsruhe for a while. he's a good contact of mine at the camp, is always ready to help others out, play soccer, or just talk about important stuff. we've had some good discussions about racism and history.

Junior told me on friday that he will be having surgery tommorrow, Monday, July 3rd. His eyesight has been getting worse lately, so he went to a doctor to get it checked out. It turns out that he has a tumor in his head, which is pushing against his eyes. I don't know specifics, but he'll be in surgery tommorrow.

I'm going to try to get there tommorrow before surgery or to be with him. Please pray for him if you have a chance.

Update*** Monday, July 3rd -

I went to the eye clinic this morning and found junior at the end of his first round of tests. It turns out that they just did tests today. He'll be going back tommorrow for an x-ray and will then meet with the neurologist. right now it's really not clear if he'll actually have to have an operation. The nurses couldn't give me any real answers today. It all depends on what the neurologist says. He's doing well, but is still stressed out and scared of the operation. I'll keep you posted.