Homer Francis Luckenbill Jr.

I've been crying alot the last 10 hours. I came home from church and read an email from my brother about how my grandpa is doing. He's in the hospital and they've decided that the numerous problems that he has can't be operated on. Tommorrow afternoon at 3pm they'll be putting a valve to drain the buildup in his stomach that's been blocked from entering his intestines.
So he'll be able to drink liquids if he wants, but will be getting no nutrients. That means he'll start to fade.
I'm dealing with it. I've known that his health hasn't been good, but i somehow expected that he'd be around when i get back in july. Now i'm sure he won't be. It's been a year since i've seen him.
I talked to my parents and then called his hospital room. My bro Tom has been holdin down the fort in the hospital for us brothers. Many thanks to him for that. He was there and i was able to talk to grandpa. just a couple sentences. it hurts for him to talk.
i had a nice time talking to tom and then my grandma and uncle keith came, so i got to talk to them.
then with grandpa once again. i just wanted to get to tell him again that i love him and miss him.
he loves speaking his PA dutch. he said:

"ich lieb dich" (i love you)
"wir werden uns wieder sehen" (we'll see eachother again)

then he sang

"oh wie lieblich, wie lieblich, wie lieblich ist Jesus..
er ist mein erlöser.........."

and i finished with
".......mein herr und mein freund."

(oh how lovely, how lovely,lovely is Jesus.
He is my redeemer, my lord and my friend)

Now it's a matter of time.

Giving to annoying people.

Refugees don't have money. They come and ask for stuff.

We don't really have money.

We usually can't give much, but try to do what we can. I have a problem turning people down. Especially nice people that seriously need help and are so thankful for everything.

A person that i've known for a while and who has received help from me and our church for a while stopped by for a favor. He's not thankful. He expects you to help him and look after his every need. He was stopping by because i said i would do him a favor. So he comes in and after a couple seconds looks at me smiling says "So. What do you have for me? I'm going grocery shopping and need money."
Ahhhhhhhhhh Man!!!!!!!!! I don't have much to give the poeple that need help and are thankful for what they get. Then this punk comes and considers it his right to get handouts when he is in this situation because of a decision that he consciously made and continues to make.
No way was I rolling over and lining his pocket. I gave his the pretzels that had been laying around for 2 months and that was it.
I justify my actions. I'm called to show him love as a christian and to help him, but not to roll over and become a victim. But then I think again on Jesus' words, calling us to give to others when they ask. I want to be right in my decision, it still makes me wonder sometimes if I just want to make that decision and rationalise my way through. Anyone have this same problem?

So it makes me wonder if I'm truly carrying out Jesus' call to serve and love others. Did Jesus really mean that I should give something to this jerk? Am I really serving him by catering to someones requests?

Standing up...... like I should.

So some americans might know that it's expected that everyone(guys included) sit down to take a leak when here in Germany, or Europe in general. There are often little signgs that say "urinate sitting down" or something like that. I don't like it, though i respect the rules when visiting others.
I remember in highschool when we Happy Campers were talking about building a cabin and that it definately had to have urinal in the place. Just a guy kinda thing.
Then during a trip to Hamburg we stayed with family of a friend and i saw this in the bathroom. They had a urinal!!!!!! I mean. I don't think i'd even seen one in a private home. we're talking about a little bathroom, but they had it there. oh......... and a heated floor. yeah. it was deluxe.
So of course i had to get my camera and take pictures of this monumental event. Just thought i'd pass on the joy.